And when we get into the real nitty-gritty details of their sleep routine, I get one consistent confession – “There’s three or four of us in the bed… Me, my partner, and our smart phones”.
I totally get it – with the internet literally only a thumbprint away from us for most of the day, it can often feel like everything we do must be posted online – and it can lead to serious FOMO if we aren’t constantly checking and updating our feeds.
I’m guilty of using my phone in bed, and I know I’m not the only one.
Unfortunately, research has shown that looking at screens in the bedroom can disrupt sleep, increase feelings of stress, and can wreak havoc on our emotions and sleep hormones, due to the blue-light wavelengths our screens give off.
So, how is this affecting your sex-life?
Well in 2015, research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggested that sexual desire in women is related to longer sleep duration.
It also showed that an extra hour of extra restful sleep per night resulted in a 14% increase in the likelihood to have sex the following day.
Well there you have it – Having less sleep can affect our libido!
So, what can we do to prevent that fear of missing out, whilst also getting a good night’s sleep?
No phones in the bedroom – period. Don’t even keep your charger in the room.
An added bonus of not allowing screens in the bedroom is now you’ll have to find another way to entertain yourself before it’s time to sleep (I’ll leave that up to your imagination!!)
Of course, not all of us feel comfortable leaving our phone in another room, and most people I know use their phone as their alarm, so that idea isn’t always an option.
A more realistic choice is to use the light filter in your device settings. Most phones have this inbuilt nowadays.
Go into settings and choose the display and brightness option, and set up “night shift” – this setting places an orange filter over the screen, preventing the blue light waves from disrupting your sleep.
If you’re using another phone or screen late at night that doesn’t have this option built in, you can download free blue light blockers easily for free – I use the customisable f.lux on my computer and tablet.
I also recommend putting your phone on air-plane mode if you are keeping it in the bedroom – your alarm will still go off, but you won’t be woken by bright notifications or messages.
Go on a technology detox. This could be as simple as setting up a time in the evening when you stop looking at all electronic screens.
Doing this also gives you a good chance to start to wind down with a book, or a cup of herbal tea, and prepare your body for sleep.
Technology doesn’t have to rule our lives. Setting boundaries in the bedroom is a smart move for your overall health (and your sex life).
I hope these tips have made you at least consider looking at your phone habits. I know in the beginning, it can feel really weird not taking your phone or tablet into the bedroom, but in the long run, your sleep and sex drive will thank you.
Following these tips but still can’t get to sleep? Let’s work together 1:1 to get to the root cause and come up with a long-term solution to your bedroom concerns.